If you're asking yourself what in the world fake mud jeans are, you're overthinking this — for fake mud jeans are exactly as they sound: jeans featuring fake mud.
This may sound silly at first, but fake mud jeans are a luxury perhaps even more prestigious than ripped jeans. We know this because Nordstrom is selling them for $425 (€389), which proves they must be phenomenal.
The "Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans" are carefully described as comfortable "heavily distressed medium-blue denim" pants for men that "embody rugged, Americana workwear that's seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty."
OOOOoooh weeee! Sounds hot, hot, hot and does not resemble poop one bit!
The jeans gained attention after Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs, a clear expert on both dirt and hard work, ranted about them on Facebook. With utter confusion, Rowe considered the troubling message the expensive jeans were sending consumers, and called out Nordstrom for carrying them.
"Forget the jeans themselves for a moment, and their price, and look again at the actual description. 'Rugged Americana' is now synonymous with a 'caked-on, muddy coating.' Not real mud. Fake mud. Something to foster the illusion of work. The illusion of effort," Rowe wrote. "They’re a costume for wealthy people who see work as ironic — not iconic."
Sure the price is steep and the jeans are offensive, but hey, if you still long to be fashionable and don't have an extra $425 to spare, you can easily create your own knock-off pair of mud jeans by putting on regular jeans and I guess just rolling around in some mud.
Nordstrom also specifically states to machine wash the jeans in cold water and hang them to dry, but pro tip: anyone who's truly not afraid to get down and dirty knows washing is unnecessary.